Blackfoot Ultra Recap

Me aka Ever Sexy 1541 Pre-race

Welcome back to the end of the internet.  I appreciate you taking the time to read this (instead of the shampoo bottle, or toilet paper packaging).  The following is a dramatic retelling of the events leading up to, and on, Saturday, May 27th, 2017.  Buckle up folks!

If you've read my last few posts, you know that the Blackfoot 100K was the end of my 3 race, 24 days of stupidity adventure, including the Evergreen Trail Trek Marathon, The Orcas Island 50 miler, and the Blackfoot Ultra.  Yes, I am not a smart man. So we will just say, I was not the freshest, sexiest version of myself going into this.

The Blackfoot and I go back to 2013, when a much more....Robust? version of myself bowed out at km 65.  This year, a much smaller version of that man wanted revenge, more than that silly rabbit wanted Trix.  I go into every race with multiple goals, ranging from my 'A' goal through to 'just finish the darn thing singing!'.  My 'A' goal was a sub 11 hour finish, and top 10 (keep the streak alive!!!), my 'B' goal was sub 12 hour, and my 'C' goal, was just enjoy that fact that people were showing up to hand me food while I ran (have I ever mentioned Bacon Chocolate chip cookies?). Now to the recap.

I woke up at 3:30am, like all sane people do on a Saturday, rinsed off in the shower (waste of time and water), and decided I should run 100 kilometers.  The best way to do this, was to cram a nutella laced bagel in my mouth and consume copious amounts of coffee while careening down the Wye road to Cooking lake.  I check in, got my bib, which read 'the Ever Sexy 1541' (you can't make this stuff up!) and headed to the start line.  A rousing speech that went something like 'the trail is marked, there is mud and mosquitoes everywhere, you will all die, and the race waiver said I get your life insurance' was said over us, like a benediction from a priest knowing he was sending troops to a certain doom, and we were off.

Lap 1 The Happy(ish) Lap

If you've ever run a lap course ultra, you know the first lap is to get your legs under you, and get everything else out (if you know what I mean).  My legs never showed up, I left them on Orcas Island two weeks prior I guess.  The race began, the first 5K was nice and slightly downhill to the first aid station.  We were so fast it wasn't open yet!  the next 5K was again mostly downhill, and a little muddy.  I was feeling good vibes as I rolled into the aid station, still wondering where my legs were though.  I'm a cookietarian on these runs, so I grabbed a handful of those chocolate chip bad boys and headed out.  Again, I couldn't believe my luck, the entire next 5K was downhill too!  The unmanned water station gave me a chance to drink a half litre of water, and carry on.  I ran another 5K downhill to the last aid station, where I devoured more helpless cookies and water, thanked the fine folks at the aid station, and carried on.  I'm sure it was only like 2K downhill to the start line, which clicked by fairly uneventfully.  I got to the staging area, and did what all runners do when they see an outhouse after 2:17.  My amazing wife had my pack refilled and ready for me when I got back to her, and we did a quick recap of leg 1.

Me: Me legs didn't show up yet, stomach not great, low energy

Wife:  It's ok.  It's a long day, you've been here before.  You know you're fine.

And I was off like a slow moving, seriously injured cheetah. for leg 2.

Lap 2 Not today Satan

Step Count during Blackfoot

Lap 2 began, and there was slighty more uphill on the way to the aid station (the race director must have changed the course slightly).  This time the aid station was rocking.  I was feeling super chill, and casually announced myself saying 'The Ever Sexy 1541 has arrived' why be modest right? The workers were pretty awesome, hooked me up with more cookies and drink, and I was off.  The second 5K was not downhill at all this time, and much more muddy.  My legs were still not here, and my hamstrings and glutes started revolting.  Every runner knows this part.  The demons start attacking you.  Mine were out in force.  They tell you terrible things, make you want to give up on your goals, and sing their siren song.  Luckily, just as they got going....AID STATION 2!  They may as well have been wearing capes.  I was so stoked to see them, I yelled ahead to their spotter, 'Ever Sexy 1541 Incoming!'.  Just like that, brief salvation.  They hooked me up with cookies and bacon (I think it was them at least), and carried on.  The next 5K was mostly flat, and the demons were assaulting me all the way to the water station.  I refilled my botttles, drank some of that delicious high quality H2O, and grooved on the the last aid station.  My legs were sore, and my body hurt, it was a conscious effort to keep the good vibes going. Aid station 4 rolls around, and I was either hallucinating, or there was a tiger at the aid station.  I yelled ahead to scare it 'Ever Sexy 1541 here!'. The tiger let me pass and the lovely relief workers hooked me up with cookies, water, and offered me bacon.  I had some pocket bacon already from a previous aid station marinating for later in the race, so the relief workers high fived me, and I was back jamming the last flat 3K to the staging area, in a cool sub 5 hour first 50K,

My wife was waiting for me with a fully stocked hand bottle, as I had to drop my vest due to residual chaffing from Orcas island.  Our usual conversation.

Me:  Legs are crap, Stomach is crap, energy is crap, I'm having fun, but I'm probably last

Wife: So, pretty normal, and I think your sixth place.

Leg 3 Is it Hot in Here?

Heart Rate during Blackfoot

I started motoring out of the staging area into Leg 3, it felt like 'eternal conscious torment'.  Everything hurt.  It required a lot of mental stamina and gymnastics to keep a decent pace. I saw the first aid station like a beacon of hope.  I ran in and this time they were ready for 'Ever Sexy', they even put it on a cup for me to reuse on lap 4 (ES 1541).  The next 5K were entirely uphill, and it was getting humid.  The mosquitoes didn't even want me. I was doing the patented 'Ultra shuffle' hip run, and having great success.  The next aid station seemed happy to see Ever Sexy (they may have just been glad I had't died between the aid stations and saddled them with a lawsuit).  More Cookies, and electrolytes, and I was off.  I was fighting a pretty big mental battle to keep running at this point.  It was getting hot, and I was pretty spent, breathing deep was a chore. Then, a Christmas miracle happened.  The race director must have moved a cell tower (he's a swell guy) because my phone started vibrating like crazy.  I popped it out of its holder, thinking maybe Strava had just stopped from me moving to slow, but lo and behold, it was a pile of text messages.  They were from friends and family sending me good vibes through the airwaves. This rejuvenated me and I blew past the water station, running most of the 9K uphill to the last aid station.  I announced Ever Sexy 1541 on approach, only to see the dead tiger hanging on the fence, looking sadder than I did.  The aid peeps hooked me up with goodies, and sent me packing.  The last 5K uphill was tough, but I was determined.  I rolled into the staging area looking like a wounded animal pretending to be human. My wife was ready.

Me: I lost the ability to run uphill at some point, but I have my right thigh muscle and my left calve still which is nice.  I'll be 3:30-4:00 probably on the last lap.

Wife:  Sure you will be. *hands me fully stocked bottle and sends me packing (she's kind of awesome)

Lap 4 No Guts No Glory

Lap 4 began curiously.  I was jogging down to the first aid station, and boom...projectile vomit.  I'm gloriously modest.  This was full on exorcist style.  So I guessed solid food was out.  I was riding high on having a solid first 3 laps, and got into the aid station with my usual royal address, and they handed me my gilded ES1541 cup.  I did what all runners do at this point, filled the cup, aimed it at my face, and hoped it would land in my mouth.  It was 50/50. I thanked the angels at the aid station for their service that day, and carried on.  I was full on 'wounded animal' jogging now.  Everything hurt, stride length was messy, and it was shear force of will to climb the hills in this new and improved 5K (they remarked this trail every lap with bigger hills, that's dedication!).  I arrived at the second aid station, and a young dude there announced me before I could do it.  He simply said to his buddy, 'I told you it was Ever Sexy!' so I guess no intro needed?  I was in a bad way.  No food, dying in the heat, and unsure of how long my carb deprived body could hang on.  Luckily two angels from heaven descended to earth to donate a gel each to the cause (you know who you are, and you saved my bacon.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you).  I popped a gel, drank some water, and carried on the next 5K.  The next 5K probably had the elevation gain of K2 on Everest.  It was relentless.  I went full exorcist again, as I scaled the mountain to the water station.  I hugged the water canister, and had a brief conversation with it, filled my bottle, and was gone.  KM92 rolls around, my phone starts ringing (I know this because it shorted out my 'eye of the tiger' playing on loop).

Me: Hello

Phone: Hi Josh, this is your boss Stan, I need a log in for such and such a system, are you busy?

Me: Nope, just finishing up a short run, I'll walk you through it (walks him through it)

Phone: Hope your run is going well, how long is it.

Me: It's going ok.  I'm at KM92, 8 more to go.  You know, typical day off stuff.

Phone: *dialtone

I'm in next level pain at this point as I roll into the last aid station.  Every stride is a battle, and a sheer force of will.  They were ready for me.  'Ever Sexy is here!'.  They ask me if I need some time in the shade.  I ask them if they have heat stroke,  I only have 5K to go! They laugh, I laugh, the dead tiger on the post laughed, we high five, and another angel at the aid station gives me an expresso gel.  I pop that bad boy as I begin to run again, feeling the end in sight.  At this point, I'm hoping they don't drug test me, because I'm flying, and whatever was in that Gu gel can't be legal.  I click off 3K at a fair pace, and see one of those amazing bikers coming towards me.  She tells me I have just over one kilometer left.  I'm jazzed.  I feel all this positive energy as I surge forward. I can hear the finish line, and I'm now on the part of the course that doubled pack on itself.  I see the 400m sign (every runner out there was waiting to see this sign),  and I sprint.  Dead sprint.  My legs are gone, I can't breathe, and I'm flying.  It was a painfully transcendent moment.  I crossed the finish line.  I had nothing left.  My wife was there to steady me.  This is the moment all runners hope for, whether it's your first 5K, or an ultra marathon.  Finishing knowing you left 100% out there.  10 hours 47 minutes, and the 5th finisher in.  I'll take that.  

Views on the Way home

A big thanks to all the amazing volunteers, the angels that gave me gels, and the race director that put this beast of a race on.  You are all awesome people.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you want to know more about me, I'm on Twitter @CanGhostRunner

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Crush your goals,

Canadian Ghost Runner