Blackspur: A Star Wars Story

A long time ago, in an ultra marathon far far away............

BLACKSPUR 

The Province of British Columbia is on fire

smoke from the fires has filled the air and blotted out the sun.

The Sith Lord Brian of Gallant has seized the opportunity

to enslave  a group of runners in the town of Kimberley.

His Sinister empire has begun construction of  a 'Blackspur'.

Plans for the Blackspur have been leaked to the runners however

and a plan begins to overthrow the Sinister Empire and conquer the

Blackspur has begun.

EPISODE 1

The Smoky Menace

Episode 1 is a flaming heap of garbage.

This race has 6 episodes/legs (everyone knows that 6 episodes is the most episodes any series can have, and anything that comes after that will wreck the series, and feels like a cash grab...Yes, I have issues).  The smoke was bad.  The Air Quality Index looked more like a temperature gauge in death valley than a 0-10 meter. Runners lined up at the base of the ski hill for either a 54km or 108km ride on the painbus.  I was in it for the 108km.  This race was the 3rd race in a race series, and my 8th ultra in 3 months.  

The race is supposed to be 3 legs, repeated twice, all starting and ending in the same location.  Due to the fires in the area, leg 2 was out of order, so we were going to run the other 2 legs, 3 times each (let's get dizzy).  Leg 1 begins with a gentle climb out of the staging area (or spur) and onto the road around the ski hill, followed by a lovely and refreshing hike up the mountain.  With the smoke, it kind of looked and felt a like a beautiful foggy day, if the fog smelt like hickory sticks.  Once completing the climb, racers would be treated to an aid station, and a lovely descent down the mountain on beautiful single track consisting of shale and dirt.  A quick 16.1km with 886m of gain.  

EPISODE 2

Attack on the Nose

Episode 2 is better than episode 1, more action, and the actors...I mean racers, have grown up a little bit.  Still not good, but not bad.  Leg 2 (which is usually leg 3, but is now leg 2...so complicated), is a 19.4km 670m of gain fun run.  This leg involves doing the initial climb out of the staging area, before heading out into the Kimberley Nature park.  As I was running this leg, I noticed the smoke 100 feet away in the trees.  

'Thank god the smoke is 100 feet away, and not where I am running!' I thought to myself.

100 feet later

'Thank god the smoke is still 100 feet away, and not where I am running!' I'm still thinking

100 feet later

'Maybe the reason the air smells like a campfire is because I have been running in the smoke the whole leg....' Mind=blown.

As the first 10km of this leg is good running, I didn't notice the smoke until I stopped at the aid station.  The last 9.4km is a continuous slow climb, but runnable, and as I ran the back half of the leg, I noticed my throat feeling progressively more raw.  When I did the patented trail runner snot rocket, it was a darker colour.  I made it back to the Transition area, and got ready to head out onto leg 3.

EPISODE 3

Revenge of the Smoke

Episode 3 was definitely darker than the previous 2.  Our hero becomes more brooding and darker, and we realize that he may in fact not be the hero.  He may be the villain.  But enough about me.

Leg 3 is a repeat of leg 1, because....why not.  By this time, my whole body felt heavy and tired.  My legs felt fine, and the climb was quick, but when I would really start running, I'd get out of breath quickly, and then feel 'go to bed' tired.  The run down the hill was not super fun this time, and my legs responded sluggishly.  I found and marked every root, branch, and sticking up piece of shale with pieces of my flesh, as I fell numerous times.  I was fairly light headed as I finished leg 3, and my mind was definitely not right (it never really is!).

EPISODE 4

A New Dope

Episode 4...the original.  Where it should have started.  Like who needs prequels..seriously?

I sat in my chair at the TA for 5 minutes, debating on whether to keep going.  The smoke was really messing me up at this point.   I didn't want to quit, as I was still having fun (fun, a relative term on these races).  I only had 54km to go, and had only been out around 7 hours for the first 3 legs.  So I did what any (in)sane person would do.  I waited for my heart rate to regulate, my breathing to not hurt so much, took some pain pills, and carried on.

I ran the first half of leg 4 at a decent pace.  I felt worse than I can ever remember feeling, but I wasn't going to stop.  I made it to the aid station, and noticed that swallowing was hurting, a lot.  I'd been coughing for the first half of the leg pretty consistently, but I'm a phlegmy beast of a man, so sometimes I cough when I run.  I was fine I told myself.  As I began the climb out of the aid station, I decided to spit (because I'm classy like that), and noticed some red.  I'd eaten a jujube at the aid station, so nothing to worry about.

The back half consisted of more coughing, with intermittent spitting.  As a runner, and someone that truly loves this sport, the line between pains becomes blurry.  I've run with dislocated ribs, rolled ankles, barfing (I can run a pretty good pace while vomiting now in case you were wondering), and basically feeling like a bag of  Trump (Trump a Synonym for a 4 letter word starting with S).  I don't have a lot of red lines.  As I was sitting in my chair at the TA, I knew I have 14 hours to do the last 36km.  The math to justify was going.  I had a two week break between this race and my next 100 miler, lots of recovery time.  At this point I knew I had to pull the pin.  Throat and nose were on fire, and coughing felt like razors.  Probably the only sane decision I've made this season.  The smoke hadn't bothered me much the last few weeks as I'd trained, but this day, it had my number.

EPISODE 5

The Aid Station Strikes Back

The Sexy pouty faces of Aid Station 5

Episode 5 is the best.  Hands down.  It has drama, plot twists, and loads of action.  The series should have ended here (but it wont).

Pin Pulled, my wife offered me a way to participate.  I could come up the mountain with her and her friend, and help at the Aid Station.  Getting out of the smoke was priority one, but chilling at the top of a windy mountain, the smoke wouldn't be as bad.  So while this race may be my Trumpiest (see what I did there?) race of the year, it was about to get pretty awesome.

EPISODE 6

Return of the Aid Station 

 Episode 6 was the worst way to finish the series.  Seriously, his sister?? Ewoks??  The only way this series could have ended worse, is if the rebooted it, and killed off the main characters.  Thank God that will never happen..right? (If you didn't figure out I was taking out my Star Wars issues on this blog post, that's on you!  End Rant)

At Aid Station 5, our motto was : We have Beer, nachos, and lies.  We will tell you that 'you look great','you look strong', and 'you're almost there!'.  All.  Lies.  At the top of the mountain, you all looked like death.  Haggard, despondent, huddled masses.  You got lost, went the wrong way, and some of you I think may have been drunk.  But you were all magnificent for making it to us!

One poor soul who was prepared to pull the pin, made it to us, only to watch our Aid Station blow away in the gale force wind.  By the time he got to us, and we got the situation under control, our fire was out, and everything was soaked.  Shout out to Purcell Outdoors for the Tent Installation (jk).  Working at the aid station was fun. I could definitely see running a themed aid station for 24 hours (someone has to beat the rave station on sinister 7)!  A big congrats to all my fellow runners, and Sinister Sports for pulling this off during fire season.  Wow.

EPILOGUE

We've had a lot of fun in this post, but I feel like we need to address a serious issue.  Rebooting movies.  Seriously.  Did anyone need Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?  Or, how about another Spiderman reboot?  As a runner that spends the winter on a treadmill watching movies, can we please not make Fast and the Furious 21?  We get it, they drive fast cars and steal things.  Or, how about we not kill off Han Solo, and Luke Skywalker, and then make a stand alone movie about Han Solo.  Spoiler alert, HE'S DEAD!

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A bad day on the trails is better than a good day in the office,

The Canadian Ghost Runner